16th Sep - I have my legs back..........

Well sort of............

Sorry haven't posted much of late - but same old stuff each and every day really - the odd trip out on a Wednesday - around the Golf Course (as a passenger on a buggy!) , the odd trip out on a Saturday to get abuse from Crawford the Butcher....... aka... The Ginger Butcher........... with an odd sense of humour....... ;-) (suits me!)

... and of course, me being a right royal pain in the arse / model patient...........at all times!!!!!!

Today was back for the 6-7 week checkup and casts off. Unfortunately (for me) the trainee plaster room guy had the job today and managed to gouge half my leg away (well ok, a small nick or two)...."It's just the vibrations......." "No it sodding isn't" and

well......... I have my legs back.........

A little bit thinner than they were a couple of months ago...."chicken legs" ..... and it feels so weird at the moment - to be able to move them / touch them do anything with them.........

A nice feeling but odd.

Sharon was a complete star again today and spent ages at the hospital, and then chauffering and then cleaning lots of dead skin off - not a pleasant job.... maybe i need a visit to these guys......  would be well worth £20 or so!

The weridest feeling though was putting my feet into a bowl of warm soapy water - after, well, best part of 7 weeks in hospital / casts......

<---- My lovely left leg before Operation clean up!

So still non weight bearing though "LanFranco's" slightly more diminutive brother was not overly worried...... "but ees no problemo, the legs now can be the sames as when you had the casts, yes?"

Next week off back to the James Paget for "Operation Screwfix" - which is a local anaesthetic and then removal of the 3 screws / pins from the ankles (1 from left, 2 from right) unless in the meantime I get a bit over excited and do a DIY job with a stanley knife and a phillps shorthead screwdriver.............

31st August............

Friday was an ...... "interesting day............."  looking back now, I can laugh, but at the time, a whole different ball game............

Sharon got home from work and was doing stuff in the Kitchen........... I was accused of taking the piss, even though there was no mickey taking intended - I guess the fuses had burnt out - from both of us, and I heard, well I thought I heard... "It's ok for you. you've just been sitting on your arse all day!!"  .. so I went off on one, Sharon went off on one and stormed off...........

I took the "oh whatever" approach and went outside to read a book........   10 mins later she returned and I was getting the silent / short snappy reponse treatment, so thought f### this, i am off for a bit myself............

So, full pelt, up to the back gate, down the back alleyway - at this point, I was thinking... "this is a bloody stupid idea - you haven't got any gloves - you are wheeling yourself, so this will hurt, it's cold, you have nowhere to go really, why not go back?" - then the Y chromosomes immediately took over and it was decision made - we're off (well round the block at least - about 1/2 mile) - no way could I back down...

About half way round, head down going full speed - well as full as I could -there's a little bit for cars to get up and down - a dropped kerb - which.... kind of caught me out - the slightest camber can throw you, but when really annoyed and on a mission they seem to magnify 10 fold...................

anyhow - chances are we were going to end up on the road - not a problem - few cars around - however, as we went down the inch kerb the front wheels, seemed to have twisted round 90 degrees so when they landed, stopped instantly............... the effects were something akin to riding a bike and jamming on the front brake - yep - i was hurled out of the chair onto tarmac - fortunately no cuts or bruises.

swallowing my pride - spent about 5 mins trying to get back in the chair and returning home at a much more sedate pace............ then had to confess up - though still in a bad mood.......

"Did you knock your legs?"
"Of course I bloody did, what do you think? How can you fall out of a wheelchair and not do so?"
"Did you hurt yourself?"
"Of course I bloody did!"


so a large portion of ice-cream with the humble pie please!

26th August

Very little to update from a wheelchair users point of view................ some pleasant, some not so pleasant sights at my temporary eye level.........

Whats happened - since my last update?

Had the car bashed up in Tesco's car park by the 9 yr old child from hell, and a crappy attitude from her equally dysfunctional mother.  "It's private property, I don't have to give you any details so you can f### off can't you."
Oh the wonders of a cameraphone to take lots of pics , a call to the DVLA and fill in a form with a cheque for £2.50 and hey presto I have your details, Lady, so expect a letter soon!

Made the 50 mile round trip pilgrammage to the "local" butchers.......  much good natured micky taking as to how I ended up in a temporary wheelchair......

Was supposed to be going out on the broads on Saturday with a bunch of fellow reprobates.. photographers......... however had to settle on meeting them for lunch....... at leas t I got to have a play with some "posh glass"

Saturday evening was "crazy Iñigo's" party. Was a good very entertaining evening and "scatty Emma" just cracks me up with her more and more bizarre and surreal tales........ I would love to spend just an hour in her head - for she is far madder than a skip of frogs let alone a box of them!

This week - out and about with a golfing friend to Sandringham and North Norfolk Monday,  Sharon had Tuesday off, so nice to spend some time with her, a trip around Bawburgh on a golf buggy on Wednesday and off to hospital today for the casts to be changed and the wounds inspected.

Good news - no infection - which is a bonus! and 3 more weeks in casts. A new pair of kneeboots today as well - again shiny titanium silver!  Seems like I am making good progress and of the 6-8 weeks in a cast I am at the 6 week end....... which means today is half way there!!!!! -- and then comes the learning to walk again phase, crutches, etc and the physio lady said "Oh , that will be the most painful part........." - thanks!

So potentially only 3 more weeks in a wheelchair...whoohoo......... which is good from my point of view - feels a lot more than 3 weeks since I have been home (bet it feels like 3 months to Sharon - only a couple of strops thrown by either of us so far!!!) - but in a weird way getting quite attached to the wheelchair - i can do mega wheelies now, and no crashed ladybirds. (Don't ask!)  All I need is some dreadlocks and a basketball and I can more or less be a stunt double for Ade Adepitan!

update needed

I know I need to do an update soon, and I will, I promise, tomorrow, after I have been to the hospital and they have deciced I am riddled with MRSA or flesh eating bacteria................and therefore have to amputate from waist down..........

A few funny things have happened ove the last few days........ noting really wheelchair orientaited.......... other than Chav II has been taken out with the right leg support......... that's a 100% strike rate so far........ need the hatrick this weekend!

I am, also,  apparently becoming more grumpy........ (I will take that as a compliment!)

Update soon!

17th August - time for an update

Thankfully Sharon hasn't been reading this of late - so am still to receive my bollicking for my upstairs antics of nearly a week ago.......... lol.

 Well a reasonably busy weekend -

golf club for lunch on Saturday - and worked out how exactly I CAN get into a golf buggy so a trip round the golf course tomorrow.......dead easy!

Then round to a friends in the afternoon where their 9 year old daughter wrote on my cast........ "Why did you have to go break both your legs, you fool." Cannot argue with the reasoning and logic on that one......

Sunday out and about again to some more friends for Lunch and an enjoyable afternoon - but today was cast change day --------- felt so good to have the casts off for just 15 mins......... even though there is a suspected infection..........not good, and not at all happy about that one!

Anyhow new casts on today, and I am sporting a pair of titanium / steel effect silvery fibreglass casts......woohoo.

Physio lady this afternoon. Very pleasant - but I have to do lots of "bum clenches"???????

Will hopefully post a bigger update tomorrow once I get my backside in gear and will post up lots of pictures...........

(am working on getting the pre and post op x-rays..... why does post -op conjure up such a different thought instead of after the leg surgery???????)

11th August - a small victory

I know I am going to get a massive telling off from the better half when she reads this but to me the following is a huge achievement, if ever so slightly naughty.........

Basically, since I got back on Thursday have been confined to downstairs with a bucket on wheels to perform the necessary bodily functions that we face on a daily basis..............

For all you able bodies people (and for me most of the time, popping upstairs is an easy task isn't it..........

Well I was determined to get upstairs and use a "proper loo" - the first time in 10 days, and if I am honest it was worth the effort and hassle - just purely to say that i could do it.

The route - chair to settee, let self down to floor using upper body and crawl to the stairs. Up the stairs on knees one at a time, using the handrail and when at the top flip over to on my bum. Shuffle so back to bath and pull self up using strength of shoulders and flip round to the loo.

In reverse, down onto the bathroom floor - down stairs on bum one at a time and shuffle across hallway and front room, ontop settee, use banana board and back to the chair.

Result!

A minor triviality in the grand scheme of things I am normally capable of doing, but for today that is a huge bonus!

8th August - weekend catch up.......pics to follow soon.....

Well,

What a busy weekend and so many things i have learned...........

Out in the chair around Wroxham and friends on Saturday (and tesco's), today in Norwich and Golf Club for a snack lunch.

What have I learned.

# There's plenty of inconsiderate arses who park in disabled spaces without actually being disabled. You know who you are Mr 03 plate Vectra, but you seemed Eastern European so I guess you are absolved from all UK law!
# Lots of people ignore you or will step straight in front of you (currrently scouring Ebay for Boudicea scythes to put on the chariot.) which is particularly annoying when just having built up a decent pace!
# If you make eye contact with someone there is a much higher chance of getting a smile from them, than if you are on foot. (Bizarre!)
# Lots of random comments of "oh that looks painful........."
# Other people in wheelchairs / on crutches will generally speak to you and often initiate a conversation.
# Paths that seem to be flat do have a camber on them.
# Pushing yourself uphill is a struggle.
# Some views from wheelchair level are much more pleasing on the eye than others!!!"
# A sales assistant / salesman will often address the able bodied person, ignoring the one in the chair as obviously chair = braindead!  Until I piped up with lots of questions!